" Do you believe in Jesus Christ?"

"Yes, of course I do "

" Then don't judge"

"....."

Life. Recently. Is Neutral. I won't say that it's horrible or to be insanely awesome, but just neutral

What does it take to forget someone you care about? It's not that easy for me to fathom out.

I care for people. When I do care for someone, I care for them all out. I always think what's best for them, not for myself. My momma said that it's good to be like that, but sometimes I'm being too selfish to myself. Mother knows best :) And the things I get in return from you? Your hateful remarks.

As history repeats itself.

You won't cherish a friendship, until you realize it's over.

I thought what we had was really something,

but it turned out that all the glitters are not gold.

I felt this deep connection within us.

But somehow somewhat.

You unplugged it.

A woman is like a rose,

If you treat her right,

She will bloom.

If you don't,

she will wilt.

My mind has been playing tricks on me. Mind games to be precise. Somehow I think there's another part of me dominating over my mind. I just want to get things right. No matter how I try to fix things, it just seems that I'm making more damage than amends. It's hard. To forget about someone you care of. Not especially when that someone is your best friend. Having such fond memories together. Sometimes I hate myself for feeling this way. I'd do anything to be my ownself and feel normal. Those 5 good years were something. We were like little school kids who once learned their ABC's together to grown teens.

My one regret. Was to overlook what I had before and only started to cultivate everything I have now. We all know that one day high school will be over with. Then we all have to start our lives anew once again. Fate is like gravity. You may FEEL like jumping up and down till your hearts content, but the earth still falls into the sun, and the sun still courses through the galaxy, both indifferent and short lived and insignificant defiance.

The best way to find your perfect match, is to meet love half way.

I forgotten what its like to feel that way. All the tingly sensation in your guts and having to feel the way that gravity seemed to be miscomprehended and levitates you off the ground. I sworn that I will not feel that way ever again until the time is right. My momma and daddy always taught me to never love another until the time comes. Well, its easier when your mouth is doing all the talking but I'm doing all the feeling. I'm trying my best to not plunge into the sea of regrets. Like a friend once told me,

relationships are like chewing gums. It taste really SWEET in the beginning, and after awhile, it gets TASTELESS, and you spit it out.

Basically, that's true. :)

I have a stubborn head. And my paranoid meter is off the charts xD Love doesnt happen to me always. I'm not that kind of girl who gets favoured by most boys. But that's okay with me. I tend to live with that :) Well dear girls, please stop complaining on how your boyfriends are NOT spending time with you. It wont KILL YOU to hold a worm, or even get yourself sweaty! Because we girls here are what your boyfriends truly deserve.

I.LOVE.MY.FAMILY.AND.FRIENDS. :)

Sometimes, you just have to follow your heart. :) Listen to it, because it's trying to tell you something :)

Typically. There are THREE types of girls.

1st. The naive + goody two shoes.

2nd. The totally ABNORMAL ones AKA crazy

3rd. Bitches

Nope. I'm serious alright.

So you think you're all that pretty aye? And the other girls around you, you think they're nothing but ugly old fags? Think again Missy, because the world has many other prettier girls than YOU.

It doesn't matter how you judge people, but for all I know, beauty is always skin deep. And that's something you'll never EVER understand.

So what? You may think that everyone else is ugly, but open your EYES girl ( that is if you have any ) God made us beautiful, and he never makes mistakes, because we are all beautiful in our own way.

Beauty is not by the looks. It's from the heart.

Believe, the impossible. Because someday, you'll get there :]

I've been doing a LOT a lot of thinking lately.

Once I vowed to myself to never love somebody ever again. Because loving that person wont give you the results they promised to be. Lately, this group of Curtin people came to our school to gave us some motivational talk, which I find it surprisingly .. motivating, considering the fact that I don't always listen to these talks, they'll end up boring you to death.

Surprisingly. To succeed in doing something, especially that something which is REAL REAL important to us, we need LOVE. What's the point if you're doing it all with hard work and determination when there's no one there to support you? The truth spoken out aloud, the inner truth is all I need to hear :) I have never felt soo good after hearing that.

Was in such relief after teachers have come to an agreement to use the script this year :) It's pretty stressful to do a lot of things one go considering that I have SPM this year == Darnit.

Pretty much a lot of things to catch up on.

This is Taylor. The person who saved me from getting tangled up in inexpressible emotions.

She has made all the inexpressible.. expressible.

And I'm forever grateful for it :)

Wished I've known her sooner. Because that would have saved me from a lot of awkward moments.

To all the little hearts that I once broke because of my abrupt sharp comments, I'm sorry.

To that someone special, please be there for me?

Because I was Enchanted to meet you :)

The lingering question kept me up

2am, who do you love?

I wonder till I'm wide awake

Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door

I'd open up and you would say,

It was enchanting to meet you

All I know is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

This night is flawless, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

To my beloved CS babes, don't break my heart? And don't give me endless sleepless nights?

Train to be the best! Because you are the best!

To my besties, I've missed you. Every single one of you.

I.LOVE.YOU.ALL.VERY.MUCH.

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

BLAH

Another year. Another hectic life. Another new year's resolution. And another to fight for.

Yep. It's the start of the new year. Pretty boring I'd have to say when all the ones you love most are transferred to another class. Teacher's are mean, homework pilling up, yea, nothing surprising. Just a new way the teachers have in mind for torturing us. :( Teachers are all so demanding, not to mention really pathetic ( well yea SOME ).. lack of sleep. Well yea, that's pretty much about what's going on and what is happening around me. ==

Well, yea, cheers to 2011. Hope this time, I'd survive the final battle :P

My new years resolution : SPM straight A's :)

Dear YOU,

How are you lately? We haven't talk much ever since you decided to walk out of my life and bid forever goodbye. Things are going great with me, don't you worry a single bit :] Life now, well, its okay, average.. I managed to cope through loads of stuff. Little did you know, you still left a part of yourself inside of my life. A life that revolved around the both of us :] I can't stop you from leaving, because .. You and I were never meant to be. Being super popular amongst your friends, the ROSE amongst the bushes.. How'd you expect me to blend in with this sort of people? It's just not me. You know? I wished I would have told you earlier, but I didn't want to break your heart. I wont want to unleash my burden in my heart just to make mine lighter and yours broken. :( I do care for you really, sometimes just more than that.

Do you remember? Our little conversation ? I remembered every single one of it crystal clear :] We used to talk about almost everything. In class, sometimes I'd see you turn your head around, giving me that naughty look, I can't do much but just smile and blush. Nobody knew about us actually. Because in my head, I know this wasn't going to last, and you know what? my head was right all along :]

Give love a try. I never knew what was like to be in that sort of condition.I'd always dream of having that experience. Having someone out there watching over you, knowing that there's always somebody to watch your back. :] Do you remember? Someone was ridiculing me ( not in a bad way ) and you can't help but pushing that person's head? That moment. That VERY moment. I felt special. I felt somebody DO actually stand by my side. :] You made me feel like the happiest person on earth. :-] Deep down in my heart, you may not be the most appealing person I've known, but I know that in there *points at heart * is somebody with a BIG heart. :]

One fine day, you web chat me. You said its over. I can't help but feeling this day is gonna come. I can never make a commitment to you at such a tender age. I was naive. I know. Honestly, I knew this was coming all along, I just never thought it would actually last that long :] But still, you said everything you need to, and I truly accepted it :-] No hard feelings. I took it well, and said goodbye. :-] You ought to be free, and not just trapped in a cage.. you need to go out there and look for that certain someone who truly will be the one for you. You and I both know that this wasnt going to last. Naive we were and not to mention childish too xD You are one of the best people I have ever known, and all the memories we had together will continue to live with me forever.

Right now, everytime I see you, I don't know what to say. Hi? How are you? My mouth just clenched tight. I can only look at you for awhile and just look away. What else can I say? You walk past me and nudged me on the elbow. OUCH. But you made me realize something. Amidst of what emotional roller coaster we've been through, we're still good friends. And for that, I'm truly honoured to have met someone like you.

It was so many years ago, but still I can remember it with my eyes shut.

Thank you. For everything you did for me. Thank you. :-]

PS : YOU know who you are. :]

I lost

To : somebody who was once special to me

Exhaustion filled my limbs,

Weariness swept across me,

Weakened by the second.

I dropped my weapons,

Turned my back.

I've lost.

I've lost the battle.

Never have I thought,

Of seeing daylight again.

Over-confidence,

is a word to describe me.

I've abased you,

Thinking that it would be easy.

But I was wrong.

Now that you've unmasked yourself,

I can now truly see your true self.

Shame overshadowed me,

I cursed under my breath,

This was not meant to happen.

I've let my guard down,

and you've overpowered me.

I lost.

I've lost the battle.

Seeing you across the room,

triumphing, rejoicing over your victorious win.

You gathered your friends ( are they ? ),

bragging away like a conceited brute.

It burns my ears,

Just by hearing your words.

I can't help it,

but walked away.

I lost.

I've lost the battle.

YOU,

with your words like poison,

you shatter peoples heart into millions of pieces.

You don't even realize,

Every step and actions of yours,

is hurting somebody tremendously.

But you don't know,

what you don't know.

YOU!

keep your loud opinions to yourself,

because nobody really cares.

With your words like knives and swords,

you pierced my heart,

and left a scar behind.

Someday,

Somebody will turn the tables over.

You think you're innocent,

But your words slipped out of your fowl mouth,

and broke their heart.

It's not too late to change,

I thought you would,

But your numbness forbids you.

All this time,

I walk with my head held low,

trying to block you out of my sight.

But this time,

I held my head high,

and forced a weak smile,

telling myself " its alright "

This battle isn't over,

It's a new beginning.

The chapter may end now,

but the story goes on.

I lost.

I've lost the battle.

I looked up,

saw you across the room.

I'm not giving up just yet,

I'd rather die trying,

than to forfeit.

I may have lost,

but I'll triumph again.

Obstacles may come my way,

But I'll surpass them.

You may think you're the best,

but there's always somebody better than you.

Think about it.

I lost.

I've lost the battle.

Savour your victorious moments.

Because this girl is about to get you back!

I may have lost,

but everyday is a new day.

You motivate me,

making me better day by day.

I lost.

But we'll see in time,

who truly wins this battle.

beautiful boring day

Another beautiful boring day. Let's see. Holidays started, and I have a long list of plans to be fulfilled for the weekend. What about you? having a blast to I suppose?

Teachers aren't very forgiving. They kept on forgetting we have lives on our own. -.- Seriously? I have been studying

all day long before holidays and teachers give homeworks as IF you have the rest of the days free. Well, YEA you have the rest of the days free. B

ut, we'd be busy meddling with other unimportant stuff ( you know what I mean ).

I'm so obsessed with vintage photos lately. ( on the right >> and on the left <<) They're beautiful, and yet somehow peaceful to look at. It reminds me of photographs taken by the olden days. No matter how long you stare at it, it wouldn't bore you or even make your eyes tired. Maybe it's just me :) I love photos like these :)

Father Stan is coming! I'm so excited about it! I have been waiting all year long for his return. They kept saying that he wouldn't return and it would be his final year last year.. but well, they were wrong.. for the 2nd time! and I'm REALLY glad that they're wrong. The teenagers all around Malaysia needs him. I'm real impresse

d with how excited some people could be. Some even flew all the way from KL just to attend his rally :) This year, Father Stan brought along Bob Rice. I think it's gonna be majorly awesome. One of them is already awesome alright.. but the both of them, I'd bet they're gonna bring the house down :) EEKKK! I'm REALLY EXCITED ! xDD

I have been pretty bored lately. Nothing's going on with my life. So yea, that's why you seldom see me blog poems or stories, because nothing happened. The poems and stories in my blogs are inspirations from the people and things happening around me. Everytime I feel like I need to write, I write. It's good for your inner soul and heart. I can't believe people would call people having hobbies like these are nerds. Well guess what? These people are just darn boring and aggressive people who has anger issues and can't even control they're emotions. If you're someone like that, write a story or poem. It doesn't even have to be.. perfect from the viewers perspective,

as long as the story comes from your inner self, that's what it truly matters :) Or even better, write a song! Sing it out loud. :) Its fun sometimes. Make up your own song, and start humming a few tunes.. it calms the brain from exploding :)

I have a list of stuff I want to do for the holidays, but most of them are private so I won't be posting out here. :X soweee xD

Everybody has dreams of their own. What's yours? It would be nice to actually have your mind drift off to some place that never does exist.. and let your mind run WILD and let imagination conquers everything. I know I may sound like a kid now, but really.. ever since young .. dreams are the one place that I like to belong to and remain there for the rest of my remaining lives. Dreams are like paradise, there are no rules and boundaries to anything, because in your own dreams, you are living in your own world. And.. what's best, you get to create it. :) When I was a kid, I dreamed I was a .. fairy princess or some sort. Yea, I KNOW. T-Y-P-I-C-A-L. Well, that's the after effect AFTER you watch all those princess movies. Sleeping beauty, Cinderella and Snow White are CLASSICS and these are the movies I'll make my future generation watch as well. :) Too good to be missed. Anyways. Other than that.. my REALITY dream is to visit and tour around Europe. Ahh, Europe. The MOST romantic country on earth. :) There's Venice, ( gondola ride! ) France ( the view, the fashion, the people! ), Rome ( the ruins, the love atmostphere ) Rome has been a place I dreamed of going to. I will, one day :) My parents went there before. -.- So not fair. Maybe one day when I get married, I'll go there for my honeymoon. :) Rome is a place to be. I love the food, culture, people, fashion .... it's more like heaven to me :) My 2nd favourite place in Europe is France. I'd like to go there someday too. :) It's pretty at night, fireworks.. the eiffel tower... the fashionistas.. oh galore! I REALLY do wanna go there. xD

Well, enough day dreaming for me. I'm off to bed :) YAWNS.. TATA's

There comes a certain time, where we do want to know what we want to do with our lives. Yea, like since young, we'd go all ambitious and start saying stuff like.. Doctors, Pilots, Presidents ... and many other crazy stuffs. But little did we know then, it was so much more easier said than done. As we grow up, we start to rethink our decisions, how would it affect our lives. You see, to say something is way more easier than to get your hands dirty and do it. Life isn't easy. No one said it would be that way. If life were easy, there's no point in living and accepting everyday life challenges. Don't you think so? Sometimes, we just tend to run away and let this topic slip by. But then, it has its on way to come back and chase after us.

Lately, I have been thinking about what I want to do with my future life after uni. Well, to be successful one day, you ought to look further and deep down into your life :) I have been thinking a lot of crazy stuffs. I can never be a doctor, ( No offence if you're a doctor .. ) I can't stand blood. Literally. Everytime I see blood, it just makes me run to the toilet and start puking or giving me that nausea feeling. Maybe blood from a slight cut will do, but then if BLOOD .. that sort of blood where it purges out from your skin/organ, na-uh that won't do. *runs to the toilet *

I have lined out certain things that I might be interested in. But somehow, I just feel it rather silly and maybe unprofessional. My family, friends and parents are doing all those professional jobs.. and I don't think it'd be right for me to do something not up to their standards. But still, I'll follow my heart and do the stuff that I really wanted to do. :) But until then, my heart and mind are completely blank and I still am indecisive about what I am to do in the future.

I have been watching a lot Michelle Phan's videos. It just made me grew in envy :/ Seeing all those pretty teenage girls going to school with make-up. Michelle's videos are tutorials on beauty, make up and loads of other cool stuff. ( GIRLS! recommended to watch ) Sigh, if only our school allowed make up.. that'd be awesome. But then again, it would be a bad thing. Because instead of seeing students, you'd be seeing clowns :x

Well, I have something to say to a special someone :)

Every once in a while,

We'd meet someone special.

And everytime we look at them,

You'd feel everything seemed perfect,

And nothing could ever destroy your moment.

Little did you know,

At such tender age,

You're fragile heart can't take it.

He let you go,

Because he loves you no more.

You burst into tears,

But I'd stayed with you,

And to tell you,

That I'm always by your side.

He left you there,

broken and shattered.

He wasn't the right one for you my dear,

and what's more,

you deserve better :D

You took a piece of glass,

Sunk it into your flesh,

Blood squirted out,

and you cried out in pain.

Why are you doing this to yourself, my dear?

Was he worth all the cutting you did to yourself?

There's no point doing harm to yourself if he doesn't feel that way,

You are surrounded by love.

From me, your friends and family.

Your daddy won't like it if he sees what you're doing,

he'd feel sad and disappointed that the raindrops start falling.

There are many fishes in the sea.

Just remember to catch the right one :)

He is waiting for you my dear,

the question is,

how long are you willing to wait?

xoxo

CHEERS :)

They said that inner beauty is all that matters.. inner beauty wins over their outer appearances. Somehow, people used to tell that to me a lot, but somehow, this isn't the truth anymore. :(

I just don't understand really, what is wrong with boys nowadays? only want to go for the pretty girls? i'm not trying to implore saying that im pretty myself or whatsoever.. it's like.. somehow boys are blinded by appearances. And i believe this applies to most boys..

This world is just going to be getting even materialistic as ever.. well, that's life isn't it? hmm.. i do wonder if boys feel the same way when girls only go for the hot guys? xD because.. i don't mean to brag.. but some guys ( especially in international countries ) are handsome xD Still, in no doubt Taylor Lautner is still the hottest being on earth XD

Well, all i gotta do is wait. I'm sure if i wait longer and patient enough.. the Mr Right will be right in front of me, also patiently waiting for me. I learned that to rush a certain something especially in a relationship is not good, at all .. for the soul, for the heart and for themselves. Just like a seed of a flower. You can't expect it to grow within seconds, it requires someone to nurture it, water it, provide sunlight.. then it will blossom into something remarkable. Patience is a virtue. I keep telling myself that.

Sometimes I feel empty. Inside and out. I don't need a boyfriend to survive now.. I have all the love i need from my family and friends. :) But sometimes, i just feel empty.. and I wish someone was there to be with me.. always. I mean, who doesn't want that? sometimes I keep on telling myself I'm rushing, and there is no need for that. But sometimes I do ask myself, what if he never did wait for me? I believe this all goes back to God. I see a LOT of single ladies at the age of early 40's ... and I dont want to be like that when I'm 40 T.T

Oh God, please don't make me single for the rest of my life :(

Music

Once upon a time, both of them were strangers, until they found each other in a music competition. The lady, Clora searched high and low for a seat to enjoy the night, but there wasn't a seat at her sight. A kind gentleman saw her. He saw a rose amongst the bushes, the bright star in the night sky, the sun that warmed his heart. Henry stood up, with his top hat on his arm, he took her hand and invited her to sit with him. Clora blushed, and sat down. Both of them were music lovers. To them, nothing matters most but music. They express their love for music deeply and passionately to each other. Before they know it, romance started blooming between them.

The couple had a very unique way of expressing each other. No words could express their inner feelings, but only music could. Henry plays the piano. When he's happy, he would play the piano cheerfully with a smile across his face, when he's sad and blue, he would play softly and tears would moist at the corners at his eyes, when he's furious, his fingers would dance angrily on the piano, playing the piano loudly even the metronome couldn't keep up. For Clora, she plays the violin. When she's happy, she would play the violin at a happy tone and even Henry's feet would start dancing around. When she's sad, the whole house would be filled with melancholy music notes. When she's angry, the strings of her violin would vibrate violently. Music brought them together, and their love for each other grew stronger day by day.

Being a music lover, Henry often performs for the people in London. The people in London loved his music performance. His life was perfect. He got the woman of his life, he got the adoring crowd. One day, he was offered to go on an European tour to perform to the people in Europe. After having to receive this remarkable news, he darted off and told Clora. At daybreak, after Henry packed his bags, he was more than ready for the opportunity of his lifetime. Clora wished she could come along, but she had too many things to do and she couldn't leave just like that. All Clora could do is wish him the best of luck. After kissing him goodbye, she saw the man of her life slowly descending from her sight, and walking into stardom.

Henry was a huge hit. He was all over the news, the papers, the media is a total buzz about Henry's performance. Clora couldn't feel any happier for him. She wished she could be there to see Henry's great performance. Everyday of her life, she always wished that Henry would come back to her, into her arms, but she know Henry has far more better things to focus on. She would stand by the window, looking out for him. The days would turn to months, and months would turn to years. Everyday when the paperboy delivers the paper, Clora would see Henry's face on the front page. At times when Clora felt sad, she would start playing her violin at a desolate tune. People who passed by Clora's house would feel sad for her, they couldn't do anything much but only hoping for Henry's return.

Clora's hope is crushed. Her thoughts would run miles ahead of her, and thinking of the worse of her relationship with Henry. She was worried that Henry would never come back for her and moved on. She broke down into tears and at moments like this she wished Henry was by her side comforting her with his cheerful music. Henry's grand piano stood at the middle of the living room, he wanted it to be the centrepiece of the living room. Clora left the piano the way it is since Henry left. Dust started to gather on the surface of the keys and the dust started to gather in layers. Clora would sit on the piano chair, placed her fingers onto the keys, she could still feel Henry's fingers on the piano, dancing away creating symphony for the entire neighbourhood. Just by thinking about him, it made Clora missed him more.

One day, the doorbell rang and it startled Clora. It was a pleasant visit from Mr Parker, Henry's close friend. Mr Parker drew a desolate sigh, and told Clora about the grieving news. Henry was back in town, but he wasn't in good shape. Parker told Clora about the incident starting from when Henry was out one night with a couple of friends, but then the driver was drunk and they met with an accident. The driver didn't survive the accident, Henry was lucky enough to have survived it, but he was in a deep comma. After hearing this, Clora couldn't stop hearing her heart shattering, her whole body was weak that she collapsed to the ground. Parker helped Clora up and brought her to the hospital to see Henry.

Arriving at the hospital, Clora couldn't imagine the sight she was about to witness behind the door of Henry's room. Clora opened the door slowly, the door creaked and all she could see was Henry, lying helplessly on the bed with only the support of a life machine. Clora walked slowly towards him as she saw the man she loved slowly dying away from her sight. She hold his hands, hoping Henry would grip her hand tightly. Minutes turned to hours, hours turned to days, days turned to weeks, Clora wouldn't give up hope, she knows that Henry would be back if she waits. The doctors looked at Henry and shooked their heads, they sighed and said he couldn't last for a week. Clora wouldn't give up hope, she still believes that everything would turn out to be alright. The next day, the doctors told Clora it was time to switch off Henry's life support machine. She knew that Henry wasn't there anymore, it's the machine keeping his body alive. Clora took a deep breath, reached for the machine switch and turned it off. She placed her warm

hands on Henry's cold cheek, kissed his lips and said goodbye. She was happy at first, after knowing that all his sufferings are gone, but then she felt glum because she knows that Henry would never be back. But she knows that one day, Henry would be waiting patiently for her, just like how she waited for Henry's return.

It was a drizzling, grim morning. The flowers that once bloomed lowered their heads, the birds that once chirped sang a sad song. It was the day of Henry's funeral. People from all over the continent came to Henry's funeral. Everybody mourned and grieved for a great performer who once brought life to the streets of London and Europe, have become part of their distant memories. Clora played her violin sadly. For Clora, music was the one that brought Henry and herself together, and that would be the way how Clora would want to send Henry off. Clora knows that Henry no longer will be by her side, but she knows that he'll always be at her heart, and waiting for her at the gates of heaven.

:'(

You said you believed me

You said you trusted me.

You said I was nothing like the others.

But now everything changes.

Where has that trust gone to?

You started doubting me..

It hurts me terribly.

I cannot believe someone like you

would do this to me.

Why is it so hard for you to understand?

That I'm not like the others?

I don't feel safe in my own world

I don't even feel safe in my own mind.

Somehow I just know

you might be there searching for clues

You stabbed my heart

Right to its core

I thought we dealt with this before.

I wish you knew,

how I truly felt.

I don't want this to continue anymore

I hope you'd understand.

THE FEAR SONG :)

Fear is still living in me,

I beg and pleaded,

but it just wont go away...

What can I do to make you fade?

Out of sight..

Out of mind...

Oh Mr Fear,

What do you want from me?

I have nothing special ..

So just please leave me alone!

What can I do to make you disappear?

So that I can be fearless?

EESH! Mr Fear,

Can't you see I'm very busy..

I'm trying to live out my life like it's the very last..

Why are you still bugging me when I sent you off?

I guess we have to do this the hard way...

RAWR! Mr Fear..

Please do me a favor..

Just this once, let me succeed.

All I need is this once,

To prove that I am brave,

So that everything is going to be fine :)

GAH!! Mr Fear,

You're getting on my nerves..

Why is it that you just won't listen?

I'm getting tired of playing your games..

Now just get the heck out of my life..

Dear Mr Fear,

You're very quiet this few days..

Your silent treatment getting me worried..

Was it something I said?

Oh please don't drift away..

I'm truly am very sorry...

Yo! Mr Fear,

Guess who I just met,

I met with Mr Love.

He taught me how to love,

one another like yourself..

and now life couldn't get any better..

Greetings Mr Fear,

Guess what Mr love taught me,

He taught me how to fall in love.

I met this guy since a long time ago..

but now I'm unsure whether is it for real.

Times like these,

I wish I was afraid..

So that I won't make stupid mistakes.

Before It's too late,

I'm begging you please...

Do come back to me?

HEY! Mr Fear..

You're finally back!

Where have you been all this while?

I'm sorry I kept you aside in my mind..

But it's good to finally have you back :)

I guess it just comes to show,

it's good to have a little fear in you.

Sometimes it's ok to be afraid..

But don't let it all go to your head :)

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Hey fellow readers :) How's everything? Yes.. that song .. I made it up. I just feel so frustrated about things going on these few days.. and.. if i actually blogged it out here.. it will take more than just one post :) believe me xD Anyway.. I do appreciate comments :) if you have anything to say about it.. just SAY! I'm all ears :)

OH.. to people who DONT KNOW what I'm trying to say here.. it's basically about how I feel these days.. I'm toying around with my emotions.. and my frustrations just never ends because MR FEAR " the meanie " is holding on to them and never letting them go. :)

Dearest Diary,

School is going to reopen soon. And I'm not liking the feeling. You have that " freedom is gonna end " in your head, and your stomach twists around and it made you feel sick. But yea, that's exactly how I feel right now. Somehow I feel like I did lose or gain weight? but who cares? ( I do, really ) Homework is starting to pile up, and whoopee.. I haven't even touched any.. ( right ) Things have been pretty hectic really, now that everything has changed... and I have to be more responsible in doing things.. it's just.. clamoring up my freedom to do things.. you know? the stuff I use to do when holidays are here. Well, I can't do anything much right now, now that there's only 2 days left of holiday. ( bummer )

So much pressure. Coping with my piano examinations, which is on August. And it's driving me crazy. You know? having to cope with what others want... and having to practice piano every single day.. but.. I don't have that kind of time anymore now that I'm in form 4. After so long, I have been trying to search for my inner talent. Talent can mean anything right? I have been thinking about mine. Writing? Piano? Honestly speaking, I don't think Piano is my sort of thing anymore.. now that I know that I literally suck at it. If you compare me to the others.. it's completely different.. yea. Sadly as it sound.. I wish I major in it.. but unfortunately.. I don't.. I don't have the time to major in it.. but I do hope that someday I will.. :)

Once I wished that I excel in extreme sports. Like, Skiing? paragliding.. but I do have a goal though.. that 1 day I would do bungee jump. It looked interesting though.. but the problem is.. I'm never good with heights. That time, when I'm at New Zealand ... at Sky Tower, some thriller bungee jumped. It must have felt so free to fall just like that, let gravity take over your entire body.. and let your body weight do the rest. It must have been fun to do that. But to embrace your fear, it's a courage not EVERYBODY can do. But I do hope that one day.. I can do that.

Everybody has dreams. Some broken, some shattered.. some fulfilled. Nobody can have their dreams fulfilled with just the snap of your fingers, but it takes more than that.. Dreams are like stars... it's so far apart.. but it's just waiting for you to grab it. In order to grab them, you need to find solutions to get there.. same thing like what we're doing now.. don't you think?

My trip :)

cousins :)

LUGE :)

Hey guys! How's holiday so far?? Having a great time aye? Well.. Enjoy it while you still can, because holiday ends in a few days time :) After this.. the whole hectic life begins again.. tuition, school life, homeworks.. nah.. you name it yourself :) But well, let's face it. When something good happens.. it'll bound to end somehow..

Don't shed a tear,

because it's over..

Muster a smile on your face..

because it happened.

I'm pretty worked out bout the outcome of the exam. I'm so darn worried bout it. When I was at vacation and then this stupid commercial in the television .. made me worried sick because it kept talking about students with bad grades. >.<>

Ok, my vacation to NZ was awesome! Never had any better experience than this throughout my 16 years of life! I can't imagine the view there.. it's sooo BEAUTIFUL! if you take a good look at the postcards.. it's the exact same thing you will be seeing there. A lot of graduates who study there.. never plans to go back.. and now I do understand why.. such a scenic view.. nobody would want to leave.. :)

I kinda have culture shock there. :/ you know, the exposure of .. stuff that you NORMALLY don't get to see back at home. For instance.. they have this van.. painted with naked people -.- '' and uh.. I can't imagine that they actually sell rated things at normal souvenir shops.. AND the commercials.. golly.. I was covering my eyes throughout.. -.- so yea, you kinda get the idea what I'm talking about -.-

It's really COLD there.. but not at Auckland. The temperature is fine.. it's like being in an air conditioned room. But at Queenstown.. I can't believe I wore triple layer of pants and double layer of clothes PLUS my winter clothings and scarf -.- No idea how the people survive there. Most probably that they're kinda used to that climate :)

NZ is 4 hours difference from Malaysia. SO.. practically when you guys wake up.. I'm having lunch.. and when you guys are having lunch.. I'm going to have dinner soon.. and when you guys have dinner.. I'm sleeping. Pretty crazy stuff. I so miss the coldness there and it's sooo HOT here. xD oh well :( I'd do anything to go back there again.

Well, more photos can be seen at facebook :)

I really missed everybody. I can't wait till school reopens :) MISSED YOU ALL :)