WHEEEEEE

HEY HEY! how's it going? xD It's been so long since I last updated this blog.. well.. exams are over.. and I AM SOOOO RELIEVED! RAWR the exam this time seemed forever and non stop.. 2 whole weeks made it seemed like.. 2 whole months -.- I know I'm exaggerating.. but it does kinda feel like it. :( Well, enough said about the past.. now holiday's HERE!! finally.. 3 whole WEEKS~~

I feel like screaming at the top of my voice .. till my lungs can't breathe! :)))) constantly.. I'd still think that I'm dreaming.. and all of this just ain't real.. but it's real alright! HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!!! :))))

I am sooo DARN looking forward to vacation! :)) I so badly need one. I can't stand the heat here.. and it's driving me crazy every afternoon. The intense heat gets on my nerves and it makes the whole world turn upside down :( everything just don't seem right -.- Turning on the air conditioner every afternoon .. :P Heh, I rather it rain than the scorching heat -.-

-VACATION--VACATION--VACATION--VACATION--VACATION--VACATION--VACATION--VACATION--VACATION--VACATION--VACATION--VACATION--

Yeah.. these are the only words in the my mind now.. :) NZ !! here I COME! Hope I don't get jet lag -.- like last time -.- horrible horrible HORRIBLE -.-

WELL.. I'm off to do ENJOY myself now.. TATA

Miracle. Love. Friends. Silence.

A miracle had happened today :)

There are times I do wish,

That somehow I'd like to believe,

every problem faced,

can be solved,

with a blink of an eye.

The dew drops silhouetting against my window,

The dark and bright skies are playing collage,

I breathed out,

And my breath stained the car window with water.

I placed my hand on the car window.

It's cold.

It's morning.

It's Today.

No more delaying.

I had enough.

It ends today.

I was afraid.

I was timid.

I was scared.

I came in like the wind,

I knock on your door,

I see smiles,

but not yours.

I approached you,

I held your hands,

You were trembling,

I can feel it.

You stood up,

pat my shoulders,

and apologized.

It was a miracle.

God answered my prayers.

Friends,

they're everywhere.

But are they,

your true friends?

Friends,

come and go.

But true friends,

won't leave your heart.

Friends,

lend you a shoulder to cry on,

hugs you whenever you feel down,

make you smile again when you're sad.

Friends,

are the people,

whom you can count on,

trust,

believe,

rely...

Today was wonderful. A miracle happened. God answered my prayers :) I cannot believe what just happened just now. But, it DID happened. I never did believed in changing people by just talking.. I always have believed that we can make a difference by using forceful acts or forceful instructions. But I was wrong, because all along.. I never was exposed to all these.. but abruptly.. this happens.. and the feeling was.. AWESOME. :)

I had a super awesome day today.. DID YOU?

Miracles.

They don't happen just like that.

But,

They do happen,

When you least expect them to.

Miracles,

They don't fall from the sky,

They don't happen magically..

But,

It all starts from you.

Miracles,

has happened to thousands..

But,

It touches us ..

once in a life time.

Love empowers everything. No matter what the situation is. Love is the answer to all. I don't mean that puppy dog love -.-'' But, the love that someone can SHOW to the other in many ways.

Love can be trasmitted in many ways.. but the best way to show the LOVE you have for them.. is the silent way.

Silence is strong.

Silence is brave.

Silence is quiet.

Which symbolizes peace.

Love is quiet.

Love is sweet.

Love is kind.

Love is neat!

Love tells you,

the things you don't hear.

But touches you,

with silence. :)

Like I said, Life is difficult.

No one said it was going to be easy.

Yeah, it's true.

Now, Hope is all I can cling on to.

I came to you,

Out of nowhere,

Like the wind,

Knocking on your door.

Entering inside,

I see new faces.

I see smiles,

but not yours.

I came up to you

You were frightened in the inside,

but you never show it out.

Little did you know,

I was frightened too.

I never did say I'm giving up.

But I'll push myself to a whole new level.

The biggest challenge in life,

can be solved if you believe hard enough. :)

Everytime I closed my eyes,

I could only see your face.

When I'm not thinking about anything,

I could only think about you.

When I open my eyes,

All I can see is you.

I'm going to change you.

It's not impossible.

Nothing is impossible,

till you tried till the very end.

Sometimes, I do wanna blame myself. You know, taking up probation. It's like.. why did I even wanted to do this? Being one of the most HATED people in school. Well, I do admit sometimes my ego is a little over, but then, I'm constantly telling myself. Every step I've fallen, I'll get up and try again. I'm not going to call quits, I'm going to go through this till the very end. I believe I can, I believe I will.

It's not easy handling people.

You can't control them .. fact number 1.

You can't make them listen to you.... fact number 2.

You can't make them obey every single instructions you make... fact number 3.

My heart beat races,

Sweat dripping down my cheeks,

Fear clenched my teeth.

Unable to say a word.

Oh well, I was really really terrified and afraid at first. But now, I admit I am a little more daring now. Well, at least better than last week. Rome wasn't built in a day.. it all goes back to how TIME will change us :)

To all the other probationary out there.. I hope that eventhough you face many of those offenders who say or do stuff which made your self esteem lowered and confidence shattered, just remember.. Do NOT be afraid :) If FEAR is the one that's clenching you from doing all this.. be brave :)

Just like that,

The walls of my heart,

which once was surrounded with fear,

heard my sudden call.

Fear slowly disintegrate.

And there is none No More.

I stepped out,

Feeling proud and victorious,

Never again will I be shrewed,

I closed my eyes,

And I told myself..

I CAN.

And, I did

Fear.

After all of this is over,

You no longer conquer me.

No longer will you rule me.

I set the rules now.

I MAKE the decisions.

Fear.

Leave me alone.

I'm doing what's right.

If you can't except that.

Just leave.

I mustered a smile,

Because I know,

I feel good,

I feel awesome,

And my fears are dying away slowly.

I know,

I CAN do it :)

and I will

I'll never let you down. Not after what you have done for me. I won't do that to you. I promise :)

PROBATION x.x

LIFE is hard. No one said it was going to be easy

TECHNICALLY.. today is actually Day 2 for me as probationary.. xD

Well, I'm glad that I was chosen for the department I applied for, which is counselling department. My hands were shaking and trembling as they announced which department will we belong to. When they mentioned my name, I felt my heart skipped a beat -.- too excited and nervous. Plus, that day directly, I went for duty during recess. It was fun, but having to catch others who are not following the school rules is the biggest challenge.

Walking around your OWN classes .. it's a little bit.. weird. Especially friends you know will try to make all sort of offensive acts in front of you to make you look bad ( RAWR ) -.- Today I patrolled at canteen. AND, according to my department leaders, the canteen duty is said to be the most HECTIC and the BEST place to take down names. Oh whoope, lucky me -.- I get to follow my senior along with Micheal to take care the back section of the canteen. ( which is also known as the DANGER ZONE by the leaders ). GOSH, these people are like.. EVERYWHERE. And eventhough I myself go in and out of canteen constantly, I never noticed from the probationary side of view.. these people are like. .. IN and OUT all the time. And it's soo difficult to catch people with ankle socks, name tags.. you know how they can just HIDE and WALK away real fast? -.-

Afraid? YES. VERY. :'( WHY?

Afraid of facing THAT sort of people. yeah, you know what I mean right? xD THAT sort of people. They're EVERYWHERE -.- and.. to be honest, eventho you can consider I myself as one of their TYPE.. but come on, let's get real shall we? you can easily differentiate me from the others pretty darn well. Even during Choral Speaking Competition, all the other school's first glance on us was like " OMG! ALL CHINESE! " doesn't that make me one too? *teehee!* Oh well, I'm still afraid to approach them, and still can't find the inner confidence to face them, tell them what to do, and how to earn their respect.

WOW.. this whole post made it sound like its a report itself. :) xD

oh well.. lucky thing I'm not going on duty tomorrow recess. :) I'm free till tuesday -.- I still don't get it though, why is that our department duty 3 times a week while the rest only has 2? hmm.. this is a Mystery yet to be discovered.

" THIS command I am giving to you is not too difficult for you to understand, and it is not beyond your reach "

Love and Hugs :)

Beyond the glistering sun light,

I sat down beside you.

Gazing upon the glorious view,

you hold me tight,

never letting me go.

Every step I take,

Every step I embrace,

you were there to ensure that I don't fall.

Thou I may have slipped a few steps,

your arms are wide open,

ready to catch me as I fall.

Holding your hands,

made me felt like we were one.

A beautiful bond created between us,

nothing else can pull us apart.

Everytime I look in those eyes,

I see someone more than I love,

but someone I truly cared.

I want you to hold me tight,

and never let me go.

L is for the way you looked at me,

O is for the only one you see,

V is very, very extraordinary..

E is even more than anyone can adore.

Love is all that I can give to you,

Love is more than just a game for two.

Two in love can make it,

Take my heart,

but please don't break it.

Love,

was meant for me and you.

As time dies away,

incoherence popped up.

Something doesn't seemed right.

Was it something I said?

Was it something I did?

Please forgive me.

You stopped calling.

You stopped messaging.

You stopped everything.

No more hugs.

No more kisses?

What happened?

You looked at me in the eye,

held my hands tight ..

I thought we were back together again.

But then, I was wrong.

You shook your head,

let go of your grasp,

and said goodbye.

The wound that you left in my heart,

the scar that you've left behind.

The tears that are moist in my eyes,

won't stop overflowing.

My heart aches everytime I see you,

stops everytime I think about you.

I just don't know how to move on.

Hugs,

are all I need.

They are fat-free,

cholestrol free.

Not to mention, disease free.

Plus, they are free. :)

Hugs.

Heals everything.

You don't have to say anything.

But your embrace,

means everything.

Hugs.

It's always sincere.

It comes from your heart.

It doesn't matter who it comes from,

but hugs,

they're just wonderful.

Hugs,

everyone loves them.

So when you see your friends are hurt,

don't forget,

to give them a hug :)

by Mallory

This poem is dedicated to my friends :) Recently, there has been a lot of relationship issues going about, so I thought of writing this for them. Remember, God made men and women. Even before they were born, God has already chosen who the " perfect man/ perfect woman " for us. So, it's okay if we were misguided along the way. But remember, you still have friends like us who will help you back on the right path.. :)

Remember. Your "perfect man/perfect woman " is out there, don't make the wrong decision in life. You may never know, that this " person of your dreams " maybe someone who you've known for a long time? or will meet in the future :) It all goes back to God, and how fate will bring us together.. as one :)

LONG week :(

This week has been a pretty long week for me :( it's like.. never ending. I was so hoping and SO looking forward to the weekends :) Plus, there was supposed to be school replacements today, but there isn't.. so there's one good reason to sleep late at night and a very very reasonable reason to wake up late in the morning too :)

I'm totally exhausted. I can't even think. I can't even breathe normally now. It's like this whole " hectic " life of mine has taken over my mind! My brain is always tired. I can't think straight. Whatever I say or do, it's not even processed from my brain. Constantly, I've been going home at 9 pm. Above all these ranting of mine, I pity my mum the most. Had to face the challenges in her works, the mean people she faces, and constantly sending us to and fro from tuition and from home is also something not everyone can do :( Mum is exhausted too. :( Haiz, aren't we all feeling the same?

Semesters are around the corner! I feel like chewing anything I see ( including you ) especially when I suffer from major brain damage. Physics is driving me crazy so is add maths. Modern maths is making me knocking my head on the wall.. It doesn't even make sense! Even add maths has more sense that Modern maths! -.- SJ and Bio.. nothing I can rant about, that is something more like I have to accept more than deny. :(

Piano exams are coming soon. And the thing that is driving me crazy is.. I don't know WHEN it is! Everyone in my family are like so excited during June hols! 3 weeks dude! and I ain't going stay and rot at home, it's time for an adventure. Parent's are still yet indecisive. Can't decided where to go, and what to do. Grr.. Piano exam is the main obstacle above all. Piano exam is set in between the month of June and August.. so it's somewhere in between.. Grr.. I so want to go on a friggin holiday. I'm sick of staying at home all the time.. and I need to breathe some new fresh air instead of the stale ones here which I breathe in everyday. -.- It's time to explore the world ( I hope )

My timetable is seriously in a mess. ( not to mention my room, books all over. ) The stupid sports thing is seriously starting to annoy me. Dimerit? please. I have heard better threats than those. But still, a " goody-two-shoes" like me will sure follow whatsoever the school want me to do. I don't want a friggin dimerit and I don't want to be caned. ( I rather be caned than dimerit xD) Plus, this is so NOT FAIR! They are forcing us into sports! I mean, come on! the generation of Chung Hua into sports are like .. so little? and forcing almost everybody into sports.. that's just terrible. Worst, no one cares. Everyone seemed to be .. playing along? let the puppet master control your every single actions? -.- Oh wth, it's only 1 more practice before the big game.. how bad can it be? -.- ( terribly bad i guess )

I have tonnes of books have yet to be read! PS I Love You is a GOOD book! Recommended by me! It's a lovely romantic story! :) too bad I can't read it yet, still preparing for semesters. :( Lately, seeing some of my friends at boarding somehow made me jealous. -.- They don't get to study the crappy subjects we do, but there's also a bad thing about it :( whatever it is, what we have, we just go on with it :( nothing much we can do until uni. :)

Gosh, I'm gonna look invisible in the night a few weeks from now. Better save my skin while I still can :(

All of a sudden, I felt hyper -.-

PEOPLE I SEE IN SCHOOL ....

Ok, let's be frank shall we? Childish people. Seen one before? I definitely do. Every single day at school -.- I know as Catholics we're not suppose to hold grudges and hatred towards people, but here I'm just going to hear myself out.

Sometimes, I wish I brought along a video camera.. or a video phone to record whatsoever attitudes you have inside of you, seriously, what is your problem? I just don't understand people. Childish? well, who isn't especially during times when you're about to be all GROWN up and going to miss the olden days? well, that's ok. BUT.. this sort of childish, it's a little.. how would I put it.. irritating.

As minor as it can be, it all started with an assignment. BM teacher gave us this assignment and my group has decided to came up with a drama. :) which is going to be TOTALLY awesome :) *can't wait * Then, all we need left is a beautiful ending to the script. We were juicing up our brains with some juicy ideas, but nothing seemed to be coming out. But, he came up with TONNES of IDEA.. but to us it JUST doesn't seem SUITABLE.. and we rejected it. WOW. YOU should have seen the look on his face, his face went all red, and I could feel his skin BURNING from the inside of him.. I so felt like throwing a pail of water at his face and make him wake up. -.-

Then, as usual, I would confront him and resolve this.. * peacemaker face * xD Then, he said some rated stuff.. ( like I never heard of that before ) Then, he went all insane and started complaining stuff like " You guys had NO idea, so I said some to help you out " then I went " your idea wasn't suitable.. so we rejected it " then he went all crazy and started saying some rated stuff ( again ) and rude words.. ( yeah, almost everyday) which I don't know why it actually pisses me off! I mean, what the heck is wrong with him? can't take simple rejection? I'd like to see the next time when his girlfriend rejects him.. It just made the whole group so MAD and PISSED. I have no idea why am I even gambling the fact that somehow I will manage to tell this guy to actually accept it in a positive way? because NORMALLY on others, I succeeded .. but maybe this time round, I didn't. :( The last thing I told him was " SHUT UP! " I just simply don't want to hear another word from his mouth.. then stormed off, went off and cried .. I just can't stand the fact that.. You're 16! for goodness sake! plus this is a GUY we're talking about.. and GUYS shouldn't be acting this way.. uncivilized creature!

I remembered last time, he said stuff like " OH GOSH YOU GUYS ARE SO DAMN CHILDISH! " then I muttered to myself saying " EARTH TO ------------ YOU ARE ONe TOOO! " problem is.. I said that OUT LOUD.. ( oopsy ) so yeah.. then he went DENIAL ( always ) and said " NAH! I'M A MATURE ADULT! " ( yeah right.. i heard you say that for the past 100 years ) GOODNESS SAKE! I just still cannot believe this.. going to be 16 and you still can't take simple rejections? I'd like to see how many jobs you'll lose if you do THAT when you go out to work.

Note to self.. Never ever argue with uncivilized people.. what do you gain actually? beside high blood and increasing of heart rate? you get NOTHING actually.. so yeah.. I forgive you for WHAT YOU SAID! and WHAT YOU SAID!! .. I just hope that somehow God will change you for the better in the future :)