Friday, June 3, 2011

a cup of bokeh Pictures, Images and Photos
" Do you believe in Jesus Christ?"
"Yes, of course I do "
" Then don't judge"

Life. Recently. Is Neutral. I won't say that it's horrible or to be insanely awesome, but just neutral

Align Left

What does it take to forget someone you care about? It's not that easy for me to fathom out.
I care for people. When I do care for someone, I care for them all out. I always think what's best for them, not for myself. My momma said that it's good to be like that, but sometimes I'm being too selfish to myself. Mother knows best :) And the things I get in return from you? Your hateful remarks.

Align Center

As history repeats itself.

You won't cherish a friendship, until you realize it's over.
I thought what we had was really something,
but it turned out that all the glitters are not gold.
I felt this deep connection within us.
But somehow somewhat.
You unplugged it.

A woman is like a rose,
If you treat her right,
She will bloom.
If you don't,
she will wilt.

My mind has been playing tricks on me. Mind games to be precise. Somehow I think there's another part of me dominating over my mind. I just want to get things right. No matter how I try to fix things, it just seems that I'm making more damage than amends. It's hard. To forget about someone you care of. Not especially when that someone is your best friend. Having such fond memories together. Sometimes I hate myself for feeling this way. I'd do anything to be my ownself and feel normal. Those 5 good years were something. We were like little school kids who once learned their ABC's together to grown teens.

My one regret. Was to overlook what I had before and only started to cultivate everything I have now. We all know that one day high school will be over with. Then we all have to start our lives anew once again. Fate is like gravity. You may FEEL like jumping up and down till your hearts content, but the earth still falls into the sun, and the sun still courses through the galaxy, both indifferent and short lived and insignificant defiance.

The best way to find your perfect match, is to meet love half way.

I forgotten what its like to feel that way. All the tingly sensation in your guts and having to feel the way that gravity seemed to be miscomprehended and levitates you off the ground. I sworn that I will not feel that way ever again until the time is right. My momma and daddy always taught me to never love another until the time comes. Well, its easier when your mouth is doing all the talking but I'm doing all the feeling. I'm trying my best to not plunge into the sea of regrets. Like a friend once told me,

relationships are like chewing gums. It taste really SWEET in the beginning, and after awhile, it gets TASTELESS, and you spit it out.

Basically, that's true. Align Center:)

I have a stubborn head. And my paranoid meter is off the charts xD Love doesnt happen to me always. I'm not that kind of girl who gets favoured by most boys. But that's okay with me. I tend to live with that :) Well dear girls, please stop complaining on how your boyfriends are NOT spending time with you. It wont KILL YOU to hold a worm, or even get yourself sweaty! Because we girls here are what your boyfriends truly deserve.


Sometimes, you just have to follow your heart. :) Listen to it, because it's trying to tell you something :)

Monday, February 28, 2011

Typically. There are THREE types of girls.

1st. The naive + goody two shoes.

2nd. The totally ABNORMAL ones AKA crazy

3rd. Bitches

Nope. I'm serious alright.

So you think you're all that pretty aye? And the other girls around you, you think they're nothing but ugly old fags? Think again Missy, because the world has many other prettier girls than YOU.

It doesn't matter how you judge people, but for all I know, beauty is always skin deep. And that's something you'll never EVER understand.

So what? You may think that everyone else is ugly, but open your EYES girl ( that is if you have any ) God made us beautiful, and he never makes mistakes, because we are all beautiful in our own way.

Beauty is not by the looks. It's from the heart.

Believe, the impossible. Because someday, you'll get there :]

Sunday, February 27, 2011

I've been doing a LOT a lot of thinking lately.

Once I vowed to myself to never love somebody ever again. Because loving that person wont give you the results they promised to be. Lately, this group of Curtin people came to our school to gave us some motivational talk, which I find it surprisingly .. motivating, considering the fact that I don't always listen to these talks, they'll end up boring you to death.

Surprisingly. To succeed in doing something, especially that something which is REAL REAL important to us, we need LOVE. What's the point if you're doing it all with hard work and determination when there's no one there to support you? The truth spoken out aloud, the inner truth is all I need to hear :) I have never felt soo good after hearing that.

Was in such relief after teachers have come to an agreement to use the script this year :) It's pretty stressful to do a lot of things one go considering that I have SPM this year == Darnit.
Pretty much a lot of things to catch up on.

This is Taylor. The person who saved me from getting tangled up in inexpressible emotions.
She has made all the inexpressible.. expressible.
And I'm forever grateful for it :)

Wished I've known her sooner. Because that would have saved me from a lot of awkward moments.

To all the little hearts that I once broke because of my abrupt sharp comments, I'm sorry.

To that someone special, please be there for me?
Because I was Enchanted to meet you :)

The lingering question kept me up
2am, who do you love?
I wonder till I'm wide awake
Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say,
It was enchanting to meet you
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

To my beloved CS babes, don't break my heart? And don't give me endless sleepless nights?
Train to be the best! Because you are the best!

To my besties, I've missed you. Every single one of you.


Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you

Saturday, January 15, 2011


2011 Pictures, Images and Photos

Another year. Another hectic life. Another new year's resolution. And another to fight for.

Yep. It's the start of the new year. Pretty boring I'd have to say when all the ones you love most are transferred to another class. Teacher's are mean, homework pilling up, yea, nothing surprising. Just a new way the teachers have in mind for torturing us. :( Teachers are all so demanding, not to mention really pathetic ( well yea SOME ).. lack of sleep. Well yea, that's pretty much about what's going on and what is happening around me. ==

Well, yea, cheers to 2011. Hope this time, I'd survive the final battle :P

My new years resolution : SPM straight A's :)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Dear YOU,

How are you lately? We haven't talk much ever since you decided to walk out of my life and bid forever goodbye. Things are going great with me, don't you worry a single bit :] Life now, well, its okay, average.. I managed to cope through loads of stuff. Little did you know, you still left a part of yourself inside of my life. A life that revolved around the both of us :] I can't stop you from leaving, because .. You and I were never meant to be. Being super popular amongst your friends, the ROSE amongst the bushes.. How'd you expect me to blend in with this sort of people? It's just not me. You know? I wished I would have told you earlier, but I didn't want to break your heart. I wont want to unleash my burden in my heart just to make mine lighter and yours broken. :( I do care for you really, sometimes just more than that.

Do you remember? Our little conversation ? I remembered every single one of it crystal clear :] We used to talk about almost everything. In class, sometimes I'd see you turn your head around, giving me that naughty look, I can't do much but just smile and blush. Nobody knew about us actually. Because in my head, I know this wasn't going to last, and you know what? my head was right all along :]

Give love a try. I never knew what was like to be in that sort of condition.I'd always dream of having that experience. Having someone out there watching over you, knowing that there's always somebody to watch your back. :] Do you remember? Someone was ridiculing me ( not in a bad way ) and you can't help but pushing that person's head? That moment. That VERY moment. I felt special. I felt somebody DO actually stand by my side. :] You made me feel like the happiest person on earth. :-] Deep down in my heart, you may not be the most appealing person I've known, but I know that in there *points at heart * is somebody with a BIG heart. :]

One fine day, you web chat me. You said its over. I can't help but feeling this day is gonna come. I can never make a commitment to you at such a tender age. I was naive. I know. Honestly, I knew this was coming all along, I just never thought it would actually last that long :] But still, you said everything you need to, and I truly accepted it :-] No hard feelings. I took it well, and said goodbye. :-] You ought to be free, and not just trapped in a cage.. you need to go out there and look for that certain someone who truly will be the one for you. You and I both know that this wasnt going to last. Naive we were and not to mention childish too xD You are one of the best people I have ever known, and all the memories we had together will continue to live with me forever.

Right now, everytime I see you, I don't know what to say. Hi? How are you? My mouth just clenched tight. I can only look at you for awhile and just look away. What else can I say? You walk past me and nudged me on the elbow. OUCH. But you made me realize something. Amidst of what emotional roller coaster we've been through, we're still good friends. And for that, I'm truly honoured to have met someone like you.

It was so many years ago, but still I can remember it with my eyes shut.

Thank you. For everything you did for me. Thank you. :-]

PS : YOU know who you are. :]

Saturday, November 13, 2010

I lost

To : somebody who was once special to me

Exhaustion filled my limbs,
Weariness swept across me,
Weakened by the second.
I dropped my weapons,
Turned my back.
I've lost.
I've lost the battle.

Never have I thought,
Of seeing daylight again.
is a word to describe me.
I've abased you,
Thinking that it would be easy.
But I was wrong.

Now that you've unmasked yourself,
I can now truly see your true self.
Shame overshadowed me,
I cursed under my breath,
This was not meant to happen.
I've let my guard down,
and you've overpowered me.
I lost.
I've lost the battle.

Seeing you across the room,
triumphing, rejoicing over your victorious win.
You gathered your friends ( are they ? ),
bragging away like a conceited brute.
It burns my ears,
Just by hearing your words.
I can't help it,
but walked away.
I lost.
I've lost the battle.

with your words like poison,
you shatter peoples heart into millions of pieces.
You don't even realize,
Every step and actions of yours,
is hurting somebody tremendously.
But you don't know,
what you don't know.

keep your loud opinions to yourself,
because nobody really cares.
With your words like knives and swords,
you pierced my heart,
and left a scar behind.

Somebody will turn the tables over.
You think you're innocent,
But your words slipped out of your fowl mouth,
and broke their heart.
It's not too late to change,
I thought you would,
But your numbness forbids you.

All this time,
I walk with my head held low,
trying to block you out of my sight.
But this time,
I held my head high,
and forced a weak smile,
telling myself " its alright "
This battle isn't over,
It's a new beginning.
The chapter may end now,
but the story goes on.

I lost.
I've lost the battle.
I looked up,
saw you across the room.
I'm not giving up just yet,
I'd rather die trying,
than to forfeit.
I may have lost,
but I'll triumph again.
Obstacles may come my way,
But I'll surpass them.
You may think you're the best,
but there's always somebody better than you.

Think about it.

I lost.
I've lost the battle.
Savour your victorious moments.
Because this girl is about to get you back!
I may have lost,
but everyday is a new day.
You motivate me,
making me better day by day.
I lost.
But we'll see in time,
who truly wins this battle.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

beautiful boring day

Another beautiful boring day. Let's see. Holidays started, and I have a long list of plans to be fulfilled for the weekend. What about you? having a blast to I suppose?
Teachers aren't very forgiving. They kept on forgetting we have lives on our own. -.- Seriously? I have been studying
all day long before holidays and teachers give homeworks as IF you have the rest of the days free. Well, YEA you have the rest of the days free. B
ut, we'd be busy meddling with other unimportant stuff ( you know what I mean ).

I'm so obsessed with vintage photos lately. ( on the right >> and on the left <<) They're beautiful, and yet somehow peaceful to look at. It reminds me of photographs taken by the olden days. No matter how long you stare at it, it wouldn't bore you or even make your eyes tired. Maybe it's just me :) I love photos like these :)

Father Stan is coming! I'm so excited about it! I have been waiting all year long for his return. They kept saying that he wouldn't return and it would be his final year last year.. but well, they were wrong.. for the 2nd time! and I'm REALLY glad that they're wrong. The teenagers all around Malaysia needs him. I'm real impresse
d with how excited some people could be. Some even flew all the way from KL just to attend his rally :) This year, Father Stan brought along Bob Rice. I think it's gonna be majorly awesome. One of them is already awesome alright.. but the both of them, I'd bet they're gonna bring the house down :) EEKKK! I'm REALLY EXCITED ! xDD

I have been pretty bored lately. Nothing's going on with my life. So yea, that's why you seldom see me blog poems or stories, because nothing happened. The poems and stories in my blogs are inspirations from the people and things happening around me. Everytime I feel like I need to write, I write. It's good for your inner soul and heart. I can't believe people would call people having hobbies like these are nerds. Well guess what? These people are just darn boring and aggressive people who has anger issues and can't even control they're emotions. If you're someone like that, write a story or poem. It doesn't even have to be.. perfect from the viewers perspective,
as long as the story comes from your inner self, that's what it truly matters :) Or even better, write a song! Sing it out loud. :) Its fun sometimes. Make up your own song, and start humming a few tunes.. it calms the brain from exploding :)

I have a list of stuff I want to do for the holidays, but most of them are private so I won't be posting out here. :X soweee xD

Everybody has dreams of their own. What's yours?
It would be nice to actually have your mind drift off to some place that never does exist.. and let your mind run WILD and let imagination conquers everything. I know I may sound like a kid now, but really.. ever since young .. dreams are the one place that I like to belong to and remain there for the rest of my remaining lives. Dreams are like paradise, there are no rules and boundaries to anything, because in your own dreams, you are living in your own world. And.. what's best, you get to create it. :) When I was a kid, I dreamed I was a .. fairy princess or some sort. Yea, I KNOW. T-Y-P-I-C-A-L. Well, that's the after effect AFTER you watch all those princess movies. Sleeping beauty, Cinderella and Snow White are CLASSICS and these are the movies I'll make my future generation watch as well. :) Too good to be missed. Anyways. Other than that.. my REALITY dream is to visit and tour around Europe. Ahh, Europe. The MOST romantic country on earth. :) There's Venice, ( gondola ride! ) France ( the view, the fashion, the people! ), Rome ( the ruins, the love atmostphere ) Rome has been a place I dreamed of going to. I will, one day :) My parents went there before. -.- So not fair. Maybe one day when I get married, I'll go there for my honeymoon. :) Rome is a place to be. I love the food, culture, people, fashion .... it's more like heaven to me :) My 2nd favourite place in Europe is France. I'd like to go there someday too. :) It's pretty at night, fireworks.. the eiffel tower... the fashionistas.. oh galore! I REALLY do wanna go there. xD

Well, enough day dreaming for me. I'm off to bed :) YAWNS.. TATA's