THE FEAR SONG :)

Fear is still living in me,

I beg and pleaded,

but it just wont go away...

What can I do to make you fade?

Out of sight..

Out of mind...

Oh Mr Fear,

What do you want from me?

I have nothing special ..

So just please leave me alone!

What can I do to make you disappear?

So that I can be fearless?

EESH! Mr Fear,

Can't you see I'm very busy..

I'm trying to live out my life like it's the very last..

Why are you still bugging me when I sent you off?

I guess we have to do this the hard way...

RAWR! Mr Fear..

Please do me a favor..

Just this once, let me succeed.

All I need is this once,

To prove that I am brave,

So that everything is going to be fine :)

GAH!! Mr Fear,

You're getting on my nerves..

Why is it that you just won't listen?

I'm getting tired of playing your games..

Now just get the heck out of my life..

Dear Mr Fear,

You're very quiet this few days..

Your silent treatment getting me worried..

Was it something I said?

Oh please don't drift away..

I'm truly am very sorry...

Yo! Mr Fear,

Guess who I just met,

I met with Mr Love.

He taught me how to love,

one another like yourself..

and now life couldn't get any better..

Greetings Mr Fear,

Guess what Mr love taught me,

He taught me how to fall in love.

I met this guy since a long time ago..

but now I'm unsure whether is it for real.

Times like these,

I wish I was afraid..

So that I won't make stupid mistakes.

Before It's too late,

I'm begging you please...

Do come back to me?

HEY! Mr Fear..

You're finally back!

Where have you been all this while?

I'm sorry I kept you aside in my mind..

But it's good to finally have you back :)

I guess it just comes to show,

it's good to have a little fear in you.

Sometimes it's ok to be afraid..

But don't let it all go to your head :)

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Hey fellow readers :) How's everything? Yes.. that song .. I made it up. I just feel so frustrated about things going on these few days.. and.. if i actually blogged it out here.. it will take more than just one post :) believe me xD Anyway.. I do appreciate comments :) if you have anything to say about it.. just SAY! I'm all ears :)

OH.. to people who DONT KNOW what I'm trying to say here.. it's basically about how I feel these days.. I'm toying around with my emotions.. and my frustrations just never ends because MR FEAR " the meanie " is holding on to them and never letting them go. :)

Dearest Diary,

School is going to reopen soon. And I'm not liking the feeling. You have that " freedom is gonna end " in your head, and your stomach twists around and it made you feel sick. But yea, that's exactly how I feel right now. Somehow I feel like I did lose or gain weight? but who cares? ( I do, really ) Homework is starting to pile up, and whoopee.. I haven't even touched any.. ( right ) Things have been pretty hectic really, now that everything has changed... and I have to be more responsible in doing things.. it's just.. clamoring up my freedom to do things.. you know? the stuff I use to do when holidays are here. Well, I can't do anything much right now, now that there's only 2 days left of holiday. ( bummer )

So much pressure. Coping with my piano examinations, which is on August. And it's driving me crazy. You know? having to cope with what others want... and having to practice piano every single day.. but.. I don't have that kind of time anymore now that I'm in form 4. After so long, I have been trying to search for my inner talent. Talent can mean anything right? I have been thinking about mine. Writing? Piano? Honestly speaking, I don't think Piano is my sort of thing anymore.. now that I know that I literally suck at it. If you compare me to the others.. it's completely different.. yea. Sadly as it sound.. I wish I major in it.. but unfortunately.. I don't.. I don't have the time to major in it.. but I do hope that someday I will.. :)

Once I wished that I excel in extreme sports. Like, Skiing? paragliding.. but I do have a goal though.. that 1 day I would do bungee jump. It looked interesting though.. but the problem is.. I'm never good with heights. That time, when I'm at New Zealand ... at Sky Tower, some thriller bungee jumped. It must have felt so free to fall just like that, let gravity take over your entire body.. and let your body weight do the rest. It must have been fun to do that. But to embrace your fear, it's a courage not EVERYBODY can do. But I do hope that one day.. I can do that.

Everybody has dreams. Some broken, some shattered.. some fulfilled. Nobody can have their dreams fulfilled with just the snap of your fingers, but it takes more than that.. Dreams are like stars... it's so far apart.. but it's just waiting for you to grab it. In order to grab them, you need to find solutions to get there.. same thing like what we're doing now.. don't you think?

My trip :)

cousins :)

LUGE :)

Hey guys! How's holiday so far?? Having a great time aye? Well.. Enjoy it while you still can, because holiday ends in a few days time :) After this.. the whole hectic life begins again.. tuition, school life, homeworks.. nah.. you name it yourself :) But well, let's face it. When something good happens.. it'll bound to end somehow..

Don't shed a tear,

because it's over..

Muster a smile on your face..

because it happened.

I'm pretty worked out bout the outcome of the exam. I'm so darn worried bout it. When I was at vacation and then this stupid commercial in the television .. made me worried sick because it kept talking about students with bad grades. >.<>

Ok, my vacation to NZ was awesome! Never had any better experience than this throughout my 16 years of life! I can't imagine the view there.. it's sooo BEAUTIFUL! if you take a good look at the postcards.. it's the exact same thing you will be seeing there. A lot of graduates who study there.. never plans to go back.. and now I do understand why.. such a scenic view.. nobody would want to leave.. :)

I kinda have culture shock there. :/ you know, the exposure of .. stuff that you NORMALLY don't get to see back at home. For instance.. they have this van.. painted with naked people -.- '' and uh.. I can't imagine that they actually sell rated things at normal souvenir shops.. AND the commercials.. golly.. I was covering my eyes throughout.. -.- so yea, you kinda get the idea what I'm talking about -.-

It's really COLD there.. but not at Auckland. The temperature is fine.. it's like being in an air conditioned room. But at Queenstown.. I can't believe I wore triple layer of pants and double layer of clothes PLUS my winter clothings and scarf -.- No idea how the people survive there. Most probably that they're kinda used to that climate :)

NZ is 4 hours difference from Malaysia. SO.. practically when you guys wake up.. I'm having lunch.. and when you guys are having lunch.. I'm going to have dinner soon.. and when you guys have dinner.. I'm sleeping. Pretty crazy stuff. I so miss the coldness there and it's sooo HOT here. xD oh well :( I'd do anything to go back there again.

Well, more photos can be seen at facebook :)

I really missed everybody. I can't wait till school reopens :) MISSED YOU ALL :)

:)

Everything felt like a dream,

I pinched myself hard,

Only to realize that this time,

It was really happening.

I look out of the window,

I saw the scenic view I once dream of.

My breath fogged up the glass,

And I drew a funny face.

As I walk down the boulevard,

The chilly wind started blowing.

I held my coat closer to me,

And my scarf wrapped tight around my neck.

When my gaze were locked at the clock,

My mind would run a million miles,

Thinking what will you be doing back home.

Light penetrated through my curtains,

I glanced through the window.

I saw the night sky washed across the landscape,

Silhouette with the shinning stars,

The glowing moon beaming back at me.

My mind went miles ahead of me,

Is this the exact view you're seeing back at home?

Snow started pattering on my shoulders,

It's snowing alas!

Everywhere was covered with white blankets.

Snowballs flew over, under and through me,

The cold, frozen ice ball melted against my warm cheeks.

The laughter of children filled the air,

Housewives sweeping snow off the pavement,

Guys sweeping snow off their vehicles.

This is life here.

And I'm loving it.

Sitting beside the warm fireplace,

with a cup of hot chocolate in my hands.

My whole body was still shivering from the cold.

The hot drink warmed my entire system.

The heat kinda reminded me of home.

How I missed the heat..

The warmth..

Here I am,

On my bed,

Cuddled in my blanket,

Holding my pillow tightly,

Resting my head against it.

Just by thinking about my vacation,

It got me all nostalgic.

Another chapter of my life completed.

A good bed time story to tell my future generation.

And a good adventure to reminisce about in the future.

I'm back.

And I'm glad. :)

Don't shed a tear,

because it's over,

But smile,

because it happened