BOOO!!!!

Did I scare you? xD

oh well, I so LOVE this photo of me above! it's like partially.. i looked a little eurasian.. xD and it's like COOL! i know.. most of you think that this photo of me aint eurasian at all -.- but look!! my HAIR kinda is though..

my hair NOW is blackish brownish.. or something like that.. but this is.. blackish brownish and reddish! :) reddish! xD it's like as if it completed the colour balance of my hair. credits goes to the photographer, SYLVIA! :)

OK, no worries, I ain't going to go dye my hair red.. I mean, that's stupid. who would want to do that? If I'd do something like that, I'd probably look like someone who just got out of the jungle. -.-

Chinese New year visiting was a total blast :) yeah, I know that the houses we went were like.. quite a few, but it's the love and joy you share with each other .. :) ok, -.- seriously, lately I've been talking like a book -.- it's like, most of the sentences blabbed out of my mouth were.. like sentences from BOOKS.. eg: the love and joy you share with each other. -.- OK, literally, that was from my journal book -.- and maybe much influenced cuz im studying for exams. ANYWAY, back to the Chinese New year visiting, we didn't stepped into that many houses compared to the others who also went for visiting, but what the heck? we had more fun !! x) it's like seeing two little whores playing my ps2, screaming, yelling at the top of their voices, laughing hysterically -.- ok, i think i better stop here..

Went to Elaine's, Joshua's and Jessie's house :) FUN most of the time, we were glued to the television watching the nanny! Is she hilarious or WHAT? she has this great sense of humour! x) made me laughed throughout.

Everyone's been busy uploading all the photos, especially a certain someone which i shall not mention and shall remain annoymous. -.- He kept uploading stupid crappy photos of me at the wrong time, like when I was laughing half way... *snapped* and I was eating halfway... * snapped* and I was browsing through the photos... *snapped* to be frank, I don't mind being taken photos, but please.. let's just be rational, you won't want me uploading any silly photos of you don't you? i mean, logically, nobody wants that. -.- I have no idea how in the world he managed to capture those ugly pictures of me without me noticing at all -.- seriuosly! :( Maybe they just can't get enough of me, well, the paparazzi's loves me:) what can I say? a helmet's work just is never done .. x)

TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST!

if only the world would abolish exams.. that will be the day! besides, you're helping to save mother earth too! No exams= save trees... AGREED? definitely. Well, exams are good and all, and I'm not gonna bore you here debating about exams-.- just by talking bout it, i felt my head expand -.- 70 pages of history... that's just crazy! :( well, so far so so.. well, better be prepared for the worst! :'(

THIS TIME! i will do better :) I promise myself.. I WILL! :)

Those who are going to be sitting for their gerak gempur, good luck, and do not fret. it's just gerak gempur and I presumed that everybody's stress level is to the max. Anyways, after this exam, when encountering another, believe me you won't feel that stress as before :) oh well, cherish your form 3 life.. it only happens once a year in your life :)

uh... gotta get back studying.. if you checked the clock, it's 1230 am. and yup.. the insomniac kicks in again...

xD

TATA!

let's just hope i sleep well and dream better today :)

CIAO :*

holidays much? don't think so .. :P

it's funny .. really..

back when school started..

we all always complained of how we wished the holidays were here.. and how we wished those wacky examinations would just disappear ... -.- and those pilling homework.. gosh they just won't stop. And the agonizing whining teachers, oh well.. gonna tolerate them for a year anyway, makes no difference :( how we wished that the endless holidays are here, where we could just throw our school bags aside.. not touching books, not touching anything related to school.. and darn i think i can't find my name tag and neck tie.. too much of the cny mood.. xD well, that was then..

NOW.. when the holidays are HERE..

the first few days were awesome.. truly .. :) you get to sleep late and wake up late with no one bugging you :) and no one to tell you to wake up and get dress.. and no more of that annoying alarm clock that destroys all my beautiful dreams :) and it's all bout me, myself and I .. and when in my own room.. I'd feel like I'm in my own tiny kingdom :)

well.. that was the first few days.. but after then, things started.. to be boring.. irritated.. boring.. annoying.. boring.. yeah, the same words kept buzzing about my mind.. and literally it's driving me crazy :( I can't believe that I'm saying this.. but I missed school :( totally.. I didn't mean the homeworks and the exams .. but I missed going there.. where you get to meet up with friends.. teachers.. and play ... xD oh well.. we humans just can't be content of what we have can't we?

have been studying lately, surprisingly.. something I'd never imagine myself do especially on a holiday....well, mid terms are like SOON and it left me with no choice.. :( bummer... studied .. but I'm not sure whether all of it went in my mind or not.. but literally.. i think some of it just slipped off.. ya know? too many info.. can give me major brain freeze. I don't mean to brag, but sometimes, that's how it is. :(

CNY was fun :) and tomorrow gonna go visiting with friends :) YAY! xD ought to be fun :) haven't had an outing with my buds for like.. AGES.. :) there's gonna be camwhoring.. LOTS and LOTS of camwhoring with my buds.. definitely :) well, specially cleaned up the place for them :) and hopefully this time it will be truly memorable to them :) I love you guys :)

I'm so HOOKED to Jodi Picoult's " keeping faith " it's like getting interesting and interesting.. and later it just gets.. WAY interesting that you feel that you're practically in the story .. felt that half of myself is reading and the other half just vanished into the story :) that's how interesting it is. this would be my 5th jodi picoult book :) and I'm loving it! :)

Lately, got my emotional all mixed up again. I just hate it though.. when this happens. And practically, I know what you're thinking.. PMS? frustrated? well, believe me it's neither any of it :P it's just .. lots of things are clamoring up my mind.. jamming every system in my body, causing my brain to malfunction a little.. sooner or later, then the insomniac kicks in. D: well, I think that's how form 4 life is to me. I know, holidays right? well, sometimes, you just feel that 24 hours a day just aint enough.. :(

Got really pissed ..

And not that.. " I'M SO MAD AT YOU " kind of pissed..

but that sort of pissed that makes your fist tightens up into a ball, eyes filled with rage, infuriated with anger, the gritting of your teeth, the urge to stab someone real hard at the back, and every muscle in your body tightens and hardens up and your mind only concentrates to nothing but THAT nuisance. Well, lucky me I'm not like that :P FYI, lucky thing I got a blog to express myself, otherwise I'd go around trashing the whole house and yelling about like some maniac who just lost her chicken -.-'' all i could say is, I don't know what he has in mind, and obviously, I DONT WANT to know whats on his mind. You make your own choice. it's not like I didn't invite you. so like YEAH.. that's about it.. >:(

I don't mean to put so much of my anger on my him though.. but it's not like I wanted it to happen this way.. and don't get me started on what happened.. do refer to my previous post " breathe " for further details.. xD

:)

GOD BLESS

and HAPPY CNY

LOVE YA

HAPPY CNY AND BELATED VALENTINES DAY

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR :) and A HAPPY BELATED VALENTINES DAY ! :)

if you're single and no one is giving you any hugs or kisses on valentines day.. well.. do kindly accept this free HUG of mine :)

*HUG ATTACK ! *

NIX LOVES YOU :)

as history repeats itself :(

Breathe

I constantly told myself

When I'm over the moon

Clenched with anger

Disappointed

Melancholic

Was all I could do

until everything turned chaotic

If only

you'd figure out.

Are your visions that daze?

Is it so effortful to fathom out?

All these years

I withstand the rigidness

implacableness

incompliantness

No more

Enough.

Breathe

But there's no air

Why is it so problematical for me?

I can't take it no more

NO MORE.

Though it's hard for me to breathe

I'll continue to go forward

You shall not be an obstacle in life

Oh God

Have mercy on us sinners

I pray that one day

He'll realize

and come to figure out

how we truly felt.

Breathe

was all I could do

to flush out all worries

to move on.

Life.. NOW

Pissed?

Clenched in anger?

Non-stop gritting of my teeth?

I have absolutely no idea what to feel..

Disappointed? - maybe..

Sad? -supposedly..

Angry? - guess so..

Happy?- could be..

Tired?- definitely..

Just feel like I'm kind of in mood confusion..

Things like this get along with me well, and in the other way some other times..

It's amusing .. sometimes.. but when it gets over the boundary.. everything changes..

This week had been kinda rough .. with all the topical exams and everything clamering up my mind...

the fact that chinese new year is next week and the thought of can't go to shopping until friday is making matters worse.. -.- ''

Bought the clothes already, but not pants or shoes yet.. what's new year without a complete new set of clothes?

Every year, I always stumble into people like this .. asking this random question over and over again.. but well, it's no harm done.. you're just curious that's all .. and wanted to know more :P

the question is :" do you celebrate chinese new year? " well, I do .. as a matter of fact.. :) My mum is a chinese.. so I don't see the reason why I'm not celebrating.. :P

Topical tests.. some were awesome, some were terrible and some were.. just .. average.. -.- so far, my overall comment on my performance.. its just OK.. nothing more than that.. Form 4's hectic life is starting to kick in.. and the headache and insomniac i get every day made me felt that I aged 5 years more .... terrible eh? no doubt if I had any wrinkles.. -.- which I hope I won't get any.. So far for topical exams.. I really wanted to thank God for being with me throughout this whole week, I couldn't have made it this far without him.. even if I did made it.. my brain would die .. totally brain dead.. Thank you Lord, for giving me the strength and confidence in my exam so that I could achieve better results and prove to myself and everybody else that form 4 life isn't that difficult to cope with :)

Stress+ tonnes of homework= psycho..

well, it's kinda true though.. believe me... I never faced stress that much when I was only facing PMR.. :P there's this wacky dude sitting in front of me.. who goes all psycho when he has LOTS of stress.. to all those in 4s2.. you know who I'm mentioning .. xD He'll shriek and scream and yell like some wacky dude who just strike lotto -.- everyone was laughing like mad.. and believe me, I laughed till i cried.. his actions are a little bit.. indescribable.. so I'll try to record a video next time :)

I'm proud with the progression :) everyday my burden is well liften up.. not so many things to worry about :) the juniors are my inspiration to make me move forward each and everyday.. though we may not know what God will bring us tomorrow.. their belief and confidence in me .. gave me every good reason to strive till the end, though it's difficult.. the outcome is bliss :) Juniors are better than seniors.. *awkward* Well, no doubt.. these people are trained since young :) kinda proud of them though.. xD make me prouder! xD

Well, enough about the on goings on my life.. As you all could have noticed.. i changed the layout of my blog.. :) what do you think? nice? pretty? beautiful? exquisite? spontaneous? well, your comments are highly appreciated :)

Chinese New year is finally coming.. :) Finally could load off that heavy bag off my shoulders.. relax and wish I could just hibernate like there's no tomorrow :)

Till the next time :)

the caterpillar :)

this is dedicated ..

FOR YOU..

TO YOU..

forever and always..

A caterpillar lies in his cocoon,

all warm and snuggled up in a corner..

wondering all by himself..

when will the right time be for him ?

to break free of the tiny space surrounding him..

all lonely.. and miserable..

hearing the rhythm of the river ..

flowing down the hill..

pitter, patter.. pitter.. patter..

what a lovely sound to all ears...

the sound that brings peace and tranquility..

towards the core of your heart...

The warm sun..

what a lovely sight indeed..

standing proudly..

emmitting it's bright and shining light down on earth..

covering the silhouette of stars behind it's bright light..

and darkness shrieks..

slowly dying away..

The night sky...

it reaps across the valley..

the sun slowly descended beneath the hills ..

washing the whole landscape abruptly ..

and stars started to silhouette against the night sky..

with the moon trailing far behind..

what a pretty sight for all eyes to see..

sprakly .. shinning stars..

how I wish you could shine my life ..

A leaf..

it's not PINK..

it's not RED..

it's green..

the colour of nature..

Admist of all the hardships of nature..

the leaf stays strong..

protecting the cocoon beneath it..

against all evil of nature ..

As the sun rises..

the rain stops pouring..

the trees started to spread out it's branches..

birds start chirping..

welcoming the bright sun..

the caterpillar in the cocoon had enough..

"it's time" he muttered..

he wiggled and waggled out the cocoon,

but the cocoon remains strong..

holding him back..

with every last bit of energy in him..

he pushes against the cocoon..

and finally bursts out of it..

showing off his new wings..

proudly.. and fluttered away..

where he'll begin a new life ...

in HOPE

My dear friend..

it's not about how anyone think of you..

it's about how you think of yourself. :)

Never ever let anyone influence you in any way..

you're like the caterpillar..

unsure. confused. puzzled.

being held back by the cocoon..

didn't have the freedom to make your own decisions..

unable to strive out...

lonely and miserable...

you are like the dark sky..

dark. unable to see a thing.

lost in your own ways..

NOTHING..

completely nothing.

but with God,

and the supports of your friends..

we will be like the shinning stars..

guiding you out of darkness..

lightening the true path of your life..

God has given you many chances to break free..

it's not about whether or not can you break free..

but it's a matter whether do you WANT to break free?

my friend..

it's still never too late to turn back..

God allows U-turns..

Remember that.

in a tunnel where there is nothing but darkness..

at the end of the other tunnel..

there;s always light...

HOPE.. will be there..

HOPE will be there to help you

HOPE will be there to save you..

alas..

I pray that you'll start to live the life you promised me ..

and be the good girl everyone knows..

xD

still didn't get the picture?

-.-

FINE..

conclusion..

JOLENE NG.. DONT PONTENG CLASS! :P

:)

yippee!! it's my first post of the year 2010...! :)

and can you believe that i didn't have the time to blog for the past month? that's just sad :( very sad.. :'( * MAJOR SAD FACE*

well, since young.. I've been looking forward to form 4 life.. well, I thought it'll be fun and all that.. but .. i was WRONG.. Form 4 life is real hectic.. and I didn't feel this only until orientation was over.. orientation was a blast :) definitely will miss it :( had fun.. LOTS of fun... new students had FUN too.. so did the AJK's :) though tiring, but the effort we put out for this orientation was really worth it :) we love you new students :)

ok.. to summarize what I did for the past month was.. Orientation to begin with.. played lots of games.. and also talks from the teachers, principal, vice principal :) new students were co-operative with me :) their co-operation while playing games really did touched me :) it goes to show that when they wanted something badly.. they'll do anything to achieve it... even if it means working together as a team :)

ok, next. HOMEWORK. To be honest, since form 1 to 3.. I never actually did completed my homework.. Don't get me wrong.. I did do my homework.. but sometimes never did completed it >.<>

everything now is all just topsy turvy.. everything is going not as planned.. and nothing seemed right.. >.<>

Biology is fun :) and why? the main reason is the teacher that is fun.. her " FUN" isn't that kind of fun you're expecting me to say.. her fun is more towards like.. insulting students.. but her tone and way of insulting was just so funny that the whole class laughed.. that's why biology is just so interesting.. xD but the memorising is killing my brain cells bit by bit..

Moral teacher.. D: nothing i can say bout him.. but 5 words i wish i could say to him are " GET OUT OF MY FACE"

Add maths.. is literally driving me up the ceiling.. yeah, wall isn't enough.. but the ceiling ... xD I just don't get it.. I know the concept and all that, but when it comes to exam.. everything in my mind just turned blank ...

concluding.. form 4 life made me felt like i aged 5 years more every day... so yeah.. you know what i mean.. >.<

no more touching the laptop.. ( but i still do anyway :P )

no more tv.. ( watched a little still :P )

no more going out.. ( kinda.. but what the heck? parkson clothings aren't nice at all.. KL's clothings.. now we're talking :P)

CS-ers... MAKE ME PROUD :)